Semi-Random Musings from my World Again

I have wanted to write a blog for quite some time, but blog topics come and go and my interest waxes and wanes as my life keeps on jetting along.  It feels like I blink and then three more months go by.  At this rate, Christmas will be here before I know it.

I wanted to set tonight aside to write a blog, because it seems like if I don’t make it a priority, then it will never happen.  You know how it goes- you get off work late, your sister calls, you need to stop by the ATM, you send a text or two, and then you hop on Facebook and time seems to warp speed forward and you wonder where it went?  Yes, that is my night so far.

So, in honor of semi-random musings from my world (again), here is this blog.

1.  I entered a poem that is very personal to me into a poetry contest on www.poemhunter.com. It is perhaps my favorite poem that I have ever written.  It is about regret, a topic that I am sure that many people can identify with.  Perhaps running a close second in terms of my favorite poems that I have penned is “Shy Girl.”  Both poems are special to me, and it was a challenge to decide which one to enter in the poetry contest, since only one entry is allowed per poet.  I have posted poems on www.poemhunter.com for over a year now, and I am excited that they are having a poetry contest and will have online voting once the entry deadline passes.  I would love to win the $1,000 grand prize, especially with my less than prosperous financial situation, however of vastly greater importance than the financial blessing is the validation that I would feel as a poet if my poetry was selected for one of the top prize spots.  I know it is a long shot to win a contest like that, but if you don’t aim for the stars, then you never know.

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2.  I got on Facebook FINALLY.  If you know me, then you may know some of my issues with Facebook, but I have largely made my peace with it overall.  I still don’t think it substitutes for real live friend face time, but I do think it is pretty amazing to form a bridge with people in your life and potentially even around the world.  Honestly, I can get distracted by just the news feeds alone from my friends, and it is nice that I have recently connected with some of my family on Facebook, too.   I am hoping to reconnect more with old friends and also enrich my newer friendships.  I especially like Facebook for getting to see status comments and pictures that people share, but mainly I like how you can keep up with your friends lives and with things that you would not know.  I almost feel like I have been living the life of a hermit, but I have finally come out of the cave.  I do think social connection is good (but I highly value in person time), and I am trying to figure out a balance with my Facebook time and my real-life time.

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3.  I decided to try the free Netflix one month trial at the end of May, after having it recommended by several people and figuring out that I could responsibly budget it in.  When my free trial was over, I decided to continue on with a paid subscription to stream it, especially since I don’t have cable.   I like it, especially the amount of movies of different genres and tv shows you can choose from.  I am kind of a nostalgia girl, and I like how there are classic tv shows, like Knight Rider and MacGyver, on Netflix.  I also find my self watching a good number of ABC family type movies, or movies that my friends probably would not be as thrilled to watch with me (Santa Paws, anyone?  I know, I know- it is not Christmas, but I felt like watching a cute and uplifting Christmas/dog movie).  Netflix seems behind the times with new movies, and I have owned some new movies for months by the time they get to Netflix, but Redbox fills in the gaps for a cheap rental in the meantime.

4. I wish you didn’t have to request a receipt at a restaurant or coffee shop when you pay like you request a food item. This is a pet peeve of mine.  I went to a local coffee shop recently, and I was disappointed when I paid with a credit card and then I got moved on down the line to the next customer but was not given a receipt.  I used to record to the penny the discretionary money that I spent, and I was highly disciplined with my budget.  I had even cut up most of my credit cards during a financial class that I took. I have loosened up a lot with my budget these days, and I am using credit cards more, but I will note that it definitely hurts more to pay money in cash than to swipe a credit card when the amount is in the double digits.  I think wise financial stewardship is important.

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Sad and Interesting is the Order of the Day

Days can be thematic sometimes. Today, sad and interesting appeared to be the order of the day. It was a long day, and I got home after 9 pm. As I was parking, I was inspired by a new song that I heard on the radio on my favorite radio station, Air1. It was by Britt Nicole, who I find very inspiring and talented. (Side note: I actually got to volunteer at her concert with radio promotions for Air1 Radio several years ago when she performed a concert in my area). Well, I loved her new song with Lecrae, and I was inspired to get on Myspace, which I don’t do much at all these days, but I still like it for the music and for reminiscing. Anyways, I was stopped by “the new myspace”, saying not only had myspace changed, but that my current browser was not supported to login. All I wanted to do was add the song to my profile as #1 song, but I had to go through the steps to get a new browser to meet my goal. So, I added Mozilla Firefox as a browser, which truth be told, I should have done ages ago, since I hear it is an excellent browser. Funny how when you can’t do something you want to do that takes “two seconds”, it is quite annoying to be slowed down with technical delays. Anybody else agree?

So, after getting my new browser, I tried to login and got stopped by the “new myspace.” Of course, I had to agree to the privacy policies, video policy, and other various policies before proceeding. I also noticed that it APPEARS that unless you are a MEMBER of myspace (i.e. the NEW myspace, not the classic myspace), you CANNOT listen to music! You can only search for music. Why would anyone want to search for music but not listen to it? Sometimes I used to listen to music in my old myspace player without logging in. This probably sounds funny, but I would listen to my playlist when I didn’t realy care or need to login, and when I didn’t care to be tracked for every song I played. Anyways, so, unless I am missing something, it appears the new myspace is EXCLUSIVE for members ONLY to listen to music, which I find sad and, well, exclusionary. I like music being free and for the people. And, don’t quote me on this without double-checking, but I believe that when I tried to check out Spotify app for music numerous months ago (which my friend raved about), I couldn’t login in because I don’t have a Facebook account. I don’t think that is very fair.

I am a person who does not like to sign something or click accept when I have not read something, especially when terms say that I have read terms, etcetera. Granted, I don’t like reading 40 page terms verbatim, but I try to pay attention to privacy policies and rules. But, I got tired of reading and really ONLY WANTED ONE SONG. It is already late, so I decided to table the new myspace for another day and make sure I am reading when I am less tired. Here is the super sad other thing that I want to comment on- when I was clicking about how the new myspace is different than the classic myspace, it said some things will not carry over in the new experience- things like blogs and comments. That makes me so sad! I always considered my old myspace like a digital record or journal as part of my life- so many happy memories are tied up there, plus blogs that I never saved that were before I was on wordpress. I think I also lost some of my poetry which I may have only had a digital copy of, which of course, I did not save. It is too late now, but I wish I knew more about archiving and stuff that seems taught more in librarian circles. Sometimes it feels like I a babe in the woods, but it is sad once it is too late to do things maybe you should have done, but didn’t think something would be totally taken away from you. I was never warned by myspace by e-mail with the changes, and I knew there was a newer version, but I didn’t use it a ton recently. Still, I don’t think they promoted the switch with a deadline, and I don’t think they publicized what people would lose until it was lost. Maybe I am wrong, and I not trying to speak something untrue, but with so much of our identities wrapped up in the digital realm, I wonder how many people would be upset if their Facebook profile got wiped out, or how would they feel if Linked In pulled the plug? We are all vulnerable.

Once I decided to pass on the new myspace (for tonight anyway), I got on Air1 Radio (www.air1.com) to stream the mixology live. Of course, I got distracted by their home page with “trending now” news headlines. Here is the one that caught my eye. It is about new Lego figurines being more grumpy than in previous years. I think that is interesting, but sort of sad. Here is the article:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/11/18904238-do-legos-need-anger-management-figurines-grumpier-than-ever-study-says?lite

Also, an article I was reading earlier in the day was in the Chronicle of Higher Education about privacy, law, and government. It was highly thought-provoking and troubling. If you are interested in privacy laws, logical arguments, or freedom, then I definitely recommend it. It fits my theme of the day- sad, yet interesting.

http://chronicle.com/article/Why-Privacy-Matters-Even-if/127461/

Mud on my shoe (a poem about regret)

Muddy, Moldy Shoes

Muddy, Moldy Shoes (Photo credit: keristars)

I walk alone.

Sometimes the day is sunny.

Sometimes the day is cloudy.

Rainy.

Thunderstorms loom and threaten.

But, alas, there is no umbrella

to shield me

and to shield

the turbulent storm in my heart.

The dismal weather matches my fluctuating mood

of melancholy and regret.

 

The puddle looms but I don’t see it.

Am I weary rose-colored glasses?

Perhaps.

Sometimes a girl can only see a puddle

when she is already in it.

Such is life. Such is love. Such is heartache.

 

Mud clings to my shoe.

Tenacious.

Uninvited.

Bitter and lacking any mirth.

The epitome of my regret.

I try to scrub it off.

Still some mud lingers

maddeningly

mud

mud (Photo credit: Jared Kelly)

and it seems

nothing I can do will change that.

Mud intertwines with my regret.

Hindsight is always 20/20,

so they say.

I sadly agree.

 

You live and you learn.

So true.

Mistakes will be made.

It is inevitable.

Unfortunately,

growth often involves pain,

mistakes,

and heartache.

Some mistakes are cleansed by the cool touch

of healing waters

while others seem to fester like open sores

and linger on

and on

and on.

Thus, like the mud on my shoe,

these mistakes are not cleansed,

nor are they forgiven.

Regrettably.

 

Forlorn.

I walk on alone.

Hoping for a sunny day

and perhaps

a rainbow

or a moon

and a starry night.

Vincent van Gogh, The Starry Night. Oil on can...

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