I’m going to feel deprived if my husband doesn’t cook. In my head is this fantasy that I have, and I just laughed as I wrote that, because in this fantasy my (future) husband likes to cook. Steak. Mashed potatoes. Chicken. Pot roast. Tacos. You get my drift. Oh, but my future husband doesn’t mind baking, either. Chocolate cake. Brownies. Cookies. Banana nut Muffins. I laugh to myself again. You are probably laughing at me, too. Or, perhaps you are outraged. Actually, that is kind of the mood I am in. I feel like pushing the envelope a bit. I’m not outraged, but actually I just want to set gender expectations on their head.
So I was just eating dinner tonight and thinking about how I feel like a “bad” female, because honestly I don’t really like to cook. I was always too busy reading to help my Mom in the kitchen, and she would have to push and prod me. So, I really don’t know how to cook. That is part of the problem. Also, I hate dishes. But, I have a dish washer now, so you ask what is my excuse? Truth be told, my Mom even recently subscribed me to Rachel Ray’s magazine, but I find myself flipping through it thinking that certain foods look good, but then I stumble at the action point where I need to go out and buy the needed ingredients to make the meal. My observation is that if you don’t have basic ingredients to start with, then your grocery bill can burst your budget and be a major detriment into your foray into cooking.
I fear my future husband will feel deprived with my lack of domesticity. Here is what “gets me.” Women are expected to work full-time. Be thin (and I must say that the older I become, the harder that is, especially with the genetic predisposition of the women in my family). Be beautiful. Be sweet. Love children. Do the bulk (if not all) of the cleaning in your home. And, finally, be a domestic “goddess.” But what happens when you don’t wear the red polka-dot apron and make an amazing pot roast?
Society likes to play it both ways. Women need to work outside the home, but they need to shine in the home sphere, too. If you don’t, then you deprive your husband (thus goes the logic). Your husband deserves a good home cooked meal. And why would a woman want to “waste” a college education if she decides she wants to raise her children and stay at home? Is that not a noble profession, or does she have to be climbing the corporate or academic ladder to get applauded? I think many women get burned out running from full-time work to PTA meetings to kid’s soccer practice, and trying to be home in time to make a five course meal may be an unfair burden that society places on women. Women can juggle many things successfully, but I think fairness and equality is a standard to be obtained in both the work and home sphere. Why can’t husbands cook, too? While I definitely will not feel deprived if my future husband doesn’t cook (FYI, I was just stirring the pot), I do hope that my husband will at least like to grill out, or he will enjoy cooking with me as we learn to cook together. A girl can dream.