Love Tarries

Love tarries
as sunrises and sunsets,
new moons,
summer,
fall,
and winter
come and go
and another spring bashfully peaks
through the horizon.
The delay
and wait for love
weighs down my heart
with much sadness.
I feel forsaken
by love.

Men in my age range
seem to prefer model-types,
exotic foreign girls,
girls who like to flirt,
or girls who run after guys
and make things happen.
So, I’m no model,
nor do I want to be,
and beauty ultimately should come from within,
but I fault too many guys
for caring too much about appearance
and putting it on a pedestal,
and not caring enough about qualities
like compassion or intelligence or courage.
I don’t have exotic foreign appeal.
Alas, I can’t compete with that.
And I’ve never been one
much for flirting.
I appreciate genuine connection
and prefer to be monogamous
with flirting, but in dating
and not with every single guy.
I’m more traditional in nature,
and want to be pursued,
but society seems to laugh
at that these days.
I can be both traditional,
as well as for women having equal access
and opportunity in both the home and work sphere.

Love tarries
like a long, cold winter
when spring seems like it is forever gone,
and I sigh
and grow in patience,
albeit somewhat ungracefully,
in this wait for beautiful and lasting love.

Digital Inequality and the IRS

Inequality is “an unfair situation in which some people have more rights or better opportunities than other people.”  The definition of inequality is “the quality of being unequal or uneven” and can include social disparity and disparity of distribution or opportunity (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/inequality).

In terms of digital inequality, this can also be referenced as a technology gap.  I understand this very personally, because I was raised in a blue-collar family that was largely against computers when I was growing up.  I think my parents either hated or were scared of computers, and my Mom as a postal carrier never had need of a computer.  Today she gets upset when coupons are e-mail only since she doesn’t do e-mail, however, now that she is retired she surprised me when she took an entry level computer class with her friend at the community college.  Personally, I never owned a computer or laptop in college.  I would sometimes borrow my friend’s or my boyfriend’s computer, but mostly I would live at the library or computer lab when I needed to write papers.  Finances were an issue, and my first real computer came once I graduated with my Bachelors and Masters degrees and bought an old computer from an acquaintance for $100.  I know my experience may not be typical, but it is important to note that not every family can afford computers and technology, which can be very expensive.  This reality does set a child behind in school and can be a learning disadvantage.  A pencil and notebook is much less expensive than a laptop and affording home internet, and for parent’s struggling to put food on the table, technology is most likely not a priority.

Tonight I was disappointed and concerned when I went to my local library that is a star library in my state (Illinois) to pick up my federal and state tax forms and booklets.  Earlier in the week I had no success picking up the tax forms at the main post office that always stocks them, so I figured that perhaps I was thinking about my taxes late this year and the post office was just out of everything.  However, the sign at my local library said that the IRS decided to not send federal tax booklets this year to places that they always send them, like post offices and libraries. An extremely helpful woman at the library reference desk pointed out that the IRS also did not send supplementary forms like years previously, and a library staff member had to repeatedly call and ask for tax instruction booklets, only to be given 10 booklets that were quickly gone.  Also, there were no IL-1040 forms or booklets at all, and it was unclear to me what the library was given regarding state forms.

People looking for tax booklets were instructed to go online to look up the information.  This is not a good option for people who want to use a tax booklet and a paper form to mail their taxes in the old-fashioned way, which many older people still do.  Also, the library had a sheet with a phone number to call to have tax forms mailed to you.  That is a decent option for people that aren’t trying to do their taxes that night or at the last minute.  However, it is a hardship and a hurdle for taxpayers to jump through when instruction tax guides are not free and easily accessible to people of all income levels.  Many people may not have access to the internet at home, and most people would not like doing confidential tax information at the local library. I think this situation is inequality since it is social disparity and a disparity of opportunity for people of lower income levels.

Libraries and post offices are hubs of their community and provide services to people regardless of socioeconomic status, race, gender, or other factors.  While I can understand the IRS wanting to save money in the costs of printing and mailing forms, which is good both economically and environmentally, it still troubles me that this move results in an inequality that epitomizes the technology gap that is a way of life for many citizens in the United States of America.  I am a fan of freedom, and my hope is that people who are comfortable with old school paper tax forms can easily find and use them, while people who are comfortable with internet tax filing can utilize the internet to file their taxes.  I do not want to see either option cease to exist.

 

 

 

 

New Year, New You (a personal poem)

A new year full of promise and secret dreams.

A new year, a fresh start, and hidden deep waters.

The dazzle of potential is blinding.

The beauty of a clean slate

is liberating,

euphoric,

and makes happiness threaten to permeate

my dismal melancholy.

 

Light always shines in the darkness.

Light always is beautiful.

Light always shows the way.

 

My theory is thus:

I need to learn to make my own decisions

and stop over-analyzing and questioning

Myself.

My hopes.

My dreams.

My heart.

And I need to safeguard myself from the voices

of those who would make my decisions for me

when that is not their choice,

and they should not be allowed to do so.

 

It is a new year.

I am a new me.

I want to break free

and go down a new path

(yes, I read that Robert Frost poem, too)

even if no one will join me.

I will find someone new on the way,

because I am not meant to always be alone,

and God knows

I would make a horrible nun

(even though Mother Teresa is one of the women

that I admire the most).

Besides, I am not Catholic,

and I think marriage is the epitome of cool.

The world may dismiss it, but I will not.

Marriage is beautiful.

Redbox 12 Days of Deals!!! (Day 9) and Redbox 411

I am a definite fan of Redbox.  I love the concept of being able to rent movies on the cheap at locations that are essentially like movie vending machines all over town.  Redbox has a plethora of locations in my city and surrounding area, and you can find Redbox locations at places like Wal-Mart, CVS, Walgreens, and Ruler Foods.  All you need is a credit card to rent a regular DVD, Blue Ray DVD, or game.  They typically send receipts via e-mail, and if you rent regularly, then they often send you promo codes (that you use before putting in your payment information) to get a free rental on a particular day or rent 1, get 1 free.  I signed up to get notices by text to be in the loop, and they are doing a fun 12 days of deals promotion currently that I want to give a shout-out to.

It is now Day 9 of the 12 Days of Deals (I am slightly behind promoting it, but I still want to get the word out).  All you have to do is reply NICE for a promo code rental discount to 727272.  You can text DAILY thru 12/10/14.  Since I have done it, I have gotten promo codes for 75 cents off, 50 cents off, and rent one & get one free.  While Redbox did raise their prices recently from $1.20 to $1.50 for regular DVD’s (and I believe Blu-Ray movies are now $2 and games are slightly higher, too), however, this Christmas deal promotion is pretty sweet.

“Don’t let your friends & family miss out on the 12 Days of Deals fun! Click to share via Facebook or email: http://m.rbx.me/12dd” (promo quoted from Redbox).

Starbucks and Starfield: The Perfect Combination (I checked out Starbucks NEW Chestnut Praline Latte)!

I recently heard that Starbucks has a NEW seasonal drink, the Chestnut Praline Latte.  I was intrigued and eager to check it out.  While uncertain if I have ever had pralines before  (yeah, maybe I have led a sheltered life), but I was game to give it a try.  Call me a fan of Starbucks, which would be a true understatement.  So, I got a Chestnut Praline Latte on my drive back home from visiting my family for Thanksgiving.

It seemed appropriate to pair the latte with a cd from one of my favorite bands, Starfield, a Canadian praise and worship band with a slight rock edge, who is not very well known in the United States.  A quick side note: I once road-tripped to support Starfield years ago when they were nominated for rock/contemporary album of the year at the Dove (GMA) Awards for Christian artists.  I did a lot of music promotion “back in the day,” and I was always going to concerts and volunteering at promotional tables for Christian radio in multiple cities.  I’m kind of surprised Starfield still flies under the radar today, but sometimes that can be kind of cool to me.  I am definitely not one who is into things because other people are; while sometimes I can be influenced,  I think it’s important to follow your own drumbeat, too. But, since I am going on a tangent, I’ll get back to my story.

So, I sipped my Chestnut Praline Latte and listened to songs like “Everything is Beautiful” (which is an AMAZING song to listen to when you are feeling down), and “Love is the Reversal”, which I can listen to on repeat and never get sick of it.  I pondered deep thoughts with songs lyrics like “Yeah I believe our secret longings Tell us that we’re not at home. But grace reclaims what the world disowns” and “Yeah, nothing here’s as good as it should be ‘Cause this is the rehearsal” (song “Love is the reversal” on “Beauty in the Broken” cd by Starfield, copyright 2006).  While I must say that the Chestnut Praline Latte is not one of my favorite Starbucks drink, it is worth checking out at least once.  As their seasonal drinks typically go, you can only get them for a very limited time, so check it out before it’s gone.  And, if you couldn’t already pick up my extremely subtle plug for the band Starfield, you may want to check them out if you are looking for a new band.  Some of their older cds are harder to find in Christian bookstores, but you can find them on Spotify and see what you think.  You can also check out some more info on them on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfield_(band)).  I highly recommend their debut album “Starfield” (with has probably their best known song, “Filled With Your Glory”) that came out in 2004, as well as the more slight rock edged “Beauty in the Broken” from 2006.

***For those who are curious what is in Starbucks new Chestnut Praline Latte, here is that info courtesy of http://www.starbucks.com: “Espresso, steamed milk, and flavors of caramelized chestnuts and spices. Topped with whipped cream and spiced praline crumbs.”

Love is elusive

Feeling forlorn

and forsaken.

Love is

elusive,

a mist that seems to

vanish

or a shimmering beautiful mirage.

Looking for substance

and commitment,

I find

lack.

Lack of love.

Friendship love abounds,

but my heart

longs for romantic love,

hand holding,

kissing,

sunsets,

and shared magical moments.

Commitment

is a beautiful word,

but I wonder

if I am the only one

who thinks that is true?

Seeking a man

who will commit to me

in spite of fear

and who thinks that I

am amazing in spite of all my faults

is my most vulnerable and cherished hope.

Love and commitment meet.

 

 

My Article was Published in “Empowered” (an online Magazine)!!!

Original Sunset Photography by Julie A. Smith
I submitted an article in September to the Christian online magazine, “Empowered.”  It was accepted!!!  My friend Melissa writes for them, and she recommended me.  It is a blessing, especially since I have wanted to be published in a Christian women’s magazine, but the ones that I have found don’t take unsolicited writing.  I have my blog, but it is incredibly exciting to get published on a wider scale.  I would love to have more opportunities for my writing to be published in the future.  As rain falls beautifully ending a drought, I earnestly hope that my writing both on my blog and my personal poetry will be reinvigorated and inspired again, ending a dry spell for me with both my motivation and inspiration that has been lacking.  It was extremely encouraging to have my article published, and I have received promising feedback from the small number of family and friends that I have told thus far.  It was so affirming to see my article referenced on the cover of “Empowered” with the caption “Finding your path.”  It was also empowering (yes, I am doing a play on words with the magazine title) for me as a writer to type up my credentials and biography and submit a professional picture (actually taken at a previous staff expo for my current job that has nothing to do with writing).  While there was a slight editing mistake in the article (i.e. I never actually bought a Siberian husky  when I was younger, because the dog sold at the pet shop before I could buy it), I am so thrilled with the article overall.  However. I have to fight my inner critic and own self doubts when reading my own work or thinking that I should have edited more before submission, even though I spent hours on the article.  I sincerely hope you have a moment to check out my article.  It is in the October/November/December issue of “Empowered” on the topic of careers that was published mid-end last month.  My article is on page 23-24 and is entitled, “Finding Your Path When your Career Path is Different than you Dreamed.”