The tv show The Bachelorette is not exactly known for promoting virginity. Some fans of the show would say that it promotes love. Some critics of the show would say that it promotes loose morals and questionable decisions. I have occasionally watched several seasons of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette over the last 6 years, but I do not like to admit it due to the judgmentalness of some of my peers and even the judgmentalness in myself that I have been working on. I will say that one thing about the show is that contestants know that they are dating the same person and it is not a secret or surprise. It is a dating reality show, and like dating in general, there are often speedbumps on the road to happily ever after. Love it or hate it, but sometimes it makes you think.
This current 14th season of The Bachelorette is Becca Kufrin’s season. I have been watching Becca’s season, and I was pulled in to watch it after feeling empathy and sadness for Becca when I watched her be dumped by the last Bachelor, Arie, shortly after he proposed to her. For those not in the know who are not in Bachelor Nation (as fans of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are called), Arie proposed to Becca but then changed his mind about wanting to be with her so he broke their engagement and broke up with her. Arie then proposed to his runner-up extremely quickly after breaking Becca’s heart. Many of us know what heartbreak feels like, and I wanted to see Becca find true and lastly love, so I decided to watch this season of The Bachelorette. Fast forward to today and Colton Underwood.
Colton Underwood is a twenty-six year old former pro football player from Washington, IL. He is also a virgin. That fact has been making headlines since it was recently revealed on an episode of The Bachelorette and then Colton was cut on the next episode. He was one of the final four men on the show when he was cut (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelorette_(season_14). Becca is currently down to only 2 men, but it seems to be Colton’s virginity that is making news headlines even though he is no longer on the show and that is an extremely personal decision that most people would not want splashed in the headlines where millions of people know intimate details about your life and private decisions.
Personally, I want to go on record as stating that I really admire Colton Underwood. I was rooting for him with Becca even before I found out that he was a virgin (and once I found out then I liked him even more). He is extremely kind, humble, and caring. I also admire the foundation that he started to help sick children with cystic fibrosis. I like Colton’s heart. (If you are interested, see Colton’s foundation at http://www.coltonslegacy.org/).
Now Colton is making headlines for his virginity and there has been some backlash. In the USA it seems much harder for a man to admit that he is a virgin. It is a choice that is often ridiculed or met with confusion or the belief that it is not “normal.” I stumbled on an enlightening article that used a term that I had never heard before called “virgin-shaming” which really resonated with me (https://www.dailysignal.com/2018/07/25/if-slut-shaming-is-not-ok-neither-is-virgin-shaming/). In a culture in the USA that claims to promote tolerance and acceptance, some groups like virgins or people of faith are met with a lack of acceptance and even derision or shame that I would like to see change in the culture. Colton’s transparency with his virgin status is causing other virgins to feel not alone and is causing a cultural discussion of this issue which I earnestly appreciate. I am a fan of virginity, and I am a fan of Colton Underwood.
julieannesmith 