Healing Heart (a poem)

Poet’s note: I published this poem on 4/4/17.  I want to share it here, as well.  If you are looking to read more of my poetry, please feel free to check out https://www.poemhunter.com/julie-a-smith/.  I publish additional poetry there that is not all published on my personal blog.

I broke up with you
exactly one month ago.
I had peace with my decision,
but I didn’t want to hurt you.
But then you hurt me so badly.

It was an amazingly amicable break-up.
We both agreed that it was for the best.
You even said how you likely
would have broken up with me
in a few days since you felt that way, too.

But then I couldn’t believe that you
unfriended me on Facebook
a few days after our break-up.
You never told me
and left me to find out the hard way.
We had been friends for years.
Ten to be exact.
I could not believe that you would do that,
and then totally freeze me out
and cut off communication entirely.
I am definitely not perfect,
but I deserve better than that.

Makes me wonder
about being friends with guys.
Sometimes it is harder than being friends with girls
for obvious reasons.
I let you in
which I don’t always do
with guys
and it ended up
seriously harming a friendship
and hurting my heart.
Alas, I have a glimmer of hope
that there is still a guy out there
who will treat me tenderly
and cherish my healing heart
but sometimes that seems
so far away.
But maybe
one day
sooner rather then later
that vulnerable hope
will come true.
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Life. Love. Poetry.

Life.

Love.

Poetry.

 

Passion waning

hopes diminishing

time passing

unrequited feelings

and being constantly overlooked

is my lament

as the years go by.

 

A blessing

for me

to recently be inspired again

and not let my writing gift go dormant

My ten day poetry class

has quickly sped to an end.

 

Future hopes

would be

poetic inspiration flourishing

love coming

boy meets girl

and actually asks girl out

(yes, such a novel concept these days)

commitment more than a passing fancy

or moving on to the next girl

but one

that promises more

and touches my heart

and his.

Love blossoming

like a beautiful cherry blossom.

Faith flourishing

and a dash

of exciting world travel, too.

In my dreams

for the future.

 

 

 

 

New Year, New You (a personal poem)

A new year full of promise and secret dreams.

A new year, a fresh start, and hidden deep waters.

The dazzle of potential is blinding.

The beauty of a clean slate

is liberating,

euphoric,

and causes happiness to permeate

my forlorn melancholy.

 

Light always shines in the darkness.

Light always is beautiful.

Light always shows the way.

 

My theory is thus:

I need to learn to make my own decisions

and stop over-analyzing and questioning

Myself.

My hopes.

My dreams.

My heart.

And I need to safeguard myself from the voices

of those who would make my decisions for me

when that is not their choice,

and they should not be allowed to do so.

 

It is a new year.

I am a new me.

I want to break free

and go down a new path

(yes, I read that Robert Frost poem)

even if no one will join me.

I hope to find someone on the way,

because I am not meant to always be alone,

and God knows

I would make a horrible nun

(even though Mother Teresa is one of the women

that I admire the most).

Besides, I am not Catholic,

and I think marriage is the epitome of cool.

The world may dismiss it, but I won’t.

Marriage is beautiful.

My Article was Published in “Empowered” (an online Magazine)!!!

Original Sunset Photography by Julie A. Smith
I submitted an article in September to the Christian online magazine, “Empowered.”  It was accepted!!!  My friend Melissa writes for them, and she recommended me.  It is a blessing, especially since I have wanted to be published in a Christian women’s magazine, but the ones that I have found don’t take unsolicited writing.  I have my blog, but it is incredibly exciting to get published on a wider scale.  I would love to have more opportunities for my writing to be published in the future.  As rain falls beautifully ending a drought, I earnestly hope that my writing both on my blog and my personal poetry will be reinvigorated and inspired again, ending a dry spell for me with both my motivation and inspiration that has been lacking.  It was extremely encouraging to have my article published, and I have received promising feedback from the small number of family and friends that I have told thus far.  It was so affirming to see my article referenced on the cover of “Empowered” with the caption “Finding your path.”  It was also empowering (yes, I am doing a play on words with the magazine title) for me as a writer to type up my credentials and biography and submit a professional picture (actually taken at a previous staff expo for my current job that has nothing to do with writing).  While there was a slight editing mistake in the article (i.e. I never actually bought a Siberian husky  when I was younger, because the dog sold at the pet shop before I could buy it), I am so thrilled with the article overall.  However. I have to fight my inner critic and own self doubts when reading my own work or thinking that I should have edited more before submission, even though I spent hours on the article.  I sincerely hope you have a moment to check out my article.  It is in the October/November/December issue of “Empowered” on the topic of careers that was published mid-end last month.  My article is on page 23-24 and is entitled, “Finding Your Path When your Career Path is Different than you Dreamed.”

“Hopeful Girl” (Original Poetic series after “Shy Girl”)

“Hopeful Girl”

The hopeful girl stares down at the blank page

and ponders the fresh promise of a new year.

Sometimes, like a bird, she needs to soar out of her cage,

and stop being afraid of the unknown fear.

The hopeful girl jots down some poetry

as she ponders her resolutions of the new year.

She wants to embrace life, love, and be free,

and seeks lasting love to forever draw near.

The hopeful girl seeks fresh dreams,

passion, purpose, love, faith, and renewal.

Seeking the tarnish to rub off of her edgy seams,

her hidden desire is to shine like a beautiful, pure jewel.

“Shy Girl” and “The Waterfall”: Original Poetry

Shy Girl

The shy girl smiles.

She ponders and does muse

why when it comes to love

she always seems to lose.

 

The shy girl hopes,

but hopes seem so threadbare;

in a tapestry of love

she finds it quite unfair.

 

The shy girl wishes

that things would change.

She is shy of heart and action,

and she is forlorn for a love exchange.

____________________________________________________________

English: Waterfall near Lepena, Slovenia Slove...

English: Waterfall near Lepena, Slovenia Slovenščina: Slap, Lepena, Slovenija (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Waterfall

Churning.

Rushing.

Swirling.

Flowing.

Tumultuous

waters

flow down

the rocky

craggy

cliffs

seeking freedom.

Seeking peace.

Seeking release

from the chains that bind her.

 

She would cry

if she wasn’t

already water.

Transparent

and flowing

amidst the

beat of the sun

on her body

and the chirping

of the birds

comforting her with their tender song

in the sweet mountain air

that completely envelops her.

Perhaps

the water

are her

many tears

as they flow

free

and with abandon.

 

Tired of trying.

Tired of bondage.

Tired of who she needs to be.

Tired of the expectations.

 

She just longs to be free.

Pure.

Unrestrained by people’s expectations

of who she needs to be.

She wants to just be herself.

A waterfall flowing,

but now with a new calm strength

that is soothed by the warmth

of unconditional acceptance

from the One who watches over her

and loves her

even when she cannot always accept herself

or love herself.

 

Poet’s noteThis poem explores the internal conflict of the poet amidst expectations in the spheres of her family, work, faith, society, and even herself. 

 

***I have more of my poetry on www.poemhunter.com.  Here is a link to my poet page and poems:

http://www.poemhunter.com/julie-a-smith/

“Dreams are not Illegal”

DREAM!

Today as I was taking my office financial deposits to my university’s Cashier’s office, I passed a young woman with her daughter.  The woman was wearing a t-shirt that was quite awesome.  The t-shirt simply said “Dreams are not Illegal.”  Yes!  I love it!  While I am not where I expected to be at this point of my life on multiple levels, I really need to make sure that I do not give up on my dreams.  Sometimes our dreams take a beating in life.  I can relate to the Biblical scripture in Matthew that talks about the winds and storms beating on the house.  The house stood because it was founded on the rock.  I like that literally and spiritually.  Storms are tough.  I am not denying that.  But the simple message of that t-shirt was a beautiful reminder to me.  Dreams are so important and we have the freedom to dream big dreams.  We are only encumbered by our own doubts and when we let others (re: peers, co-workers, families, and society) talk us out of our dreams, belittle us, shame us, and essentially beat us down.  I am tired of that.  I am entitled to have dreams, and they can be as big as I want.  You are entitled to your dreams too!  Dreams are free!  They are not illegal, and we don’t need to sell ourselves short.  May we all dream big, and may the dying embers of dreams that we once held dear be re-ignited so that our passion does not die and along with it parts of our souls.