Things That Annoy Me

Author’s Editorial Note:

This post was originally titled “Things I Hate”, but now every time I look at that title it does not jive with me, so I have made an editorial adjustment.  Hate is a very strong word, and actually it is a word that I am seldom inclined to use.  I am aware, however, that I definitely overuse the word “love”, but that is in specific cases, such as the “I love Starbucks” type…seriously our English language does NOT do justice to the many facets of love that exist (Greek is much better for that), and I am not one that wants to cheapen the word love in its purest form.  Maybe I am more of a lover than a fighter, too (a.k.a. my disconnect with the word hate and preference for the word love).  Finally, there is the fact that we should love one another (whether you think about God or the Beatles for inspiration), and in my life I want to focus more on the good than the bad.  Thus, without further ado, here are “Things that Annoy Me.”

1. Utilization of the Internet for what seems like personal character assassination and slander. (Note: Character shredding in person is also bad, as well as behind a person’s back).  Bullying is the classic example, but I am being far more broad than that.  The internet is an amazing tool, but I prefer when it is used to edify instead of tear down.

2. Facebook being used for engagement news sharing BEFORE the engaged person’s best friends (or family) are even told.  This is especially bad if the best friends and family are NEVER told, and Facebook is utilized in order to take the place of heartfelt, caring phone calls or other personal correspondence.  If people who are NOT on Facebook DO care to hear directly that their close friends or family members are engaged, then this is particularly bad.

3. Facebook being used for funeral and visitation information, when no other type of personal correspondence is utilized.  This one hits close to home this past week.

4. Misunderstandings.  This is one of the reasons that my MySpace account was changed and is currently private.  Also, I hate it when people have pieces of a puzzle, but they are missing crucial pieces (of course, I am being figurative).  However, I find it grossly unfair when people fill in the blanks with incorrect (and thus false) assumptions.  This seems to happen a lot in life.

5. I get annoyed when people assume things based on a category that someone happens to fit in.  For instance, if someone thinks that since I am a Christian, then I am also a Republican, then they would be wrong.  Or, if someone things that because I am a feminist, then I hate men, that would also be wrong.  I think that our society does this all the time (re: incorrectly assume things about categories of people).  Actually, I have many beliefs that do not always co-exist together, and anyone who takes the time to get to know me will realize that.

6. I am disappointed when people are too busy for things and people who really matter.

7. I get annoyed when people break their word and are unreliable.  A few of my friends that I have been friends with for many years fall into this category.  I finally realized that I deserve people in my inner circle who respect me and are people who I can count on in both good times and in bad (whether I am having surgery or they just want to get a relaxing cup of coffee….a close friend should be counted on to be there for either occasion.  Life is more than just good times, and some people are fun friends but not “thick and thin” friends, the latter of which are more meaningful to me at this point in my life).

Unfortunately, when I had surgery last summer, several key friends in my life were not there for me at all or broke their word to me.  I have tried to work on myself to stop dwelling on some of the friend hurts from that time period (and a major one right before that) that really wounded me and were quite painful.  On a BRIGHTER note, some other people stood out to me that I did not expect- some I barely knew at all or I was just on an acquaintance level with (i.e. the mail carrier at my job who asked me how I was doing {after my surgery}, or someone in passing who took the time to listen to me on a down day and was there when I started to cry….that small kind act made the day better and was definitely encouraging…..you remember stuff like that).  Then there was my newer friend, Tisha, from my church, who gave me a sweet surgery pack complete with amazing chocolate and a cute gift bag in my favorite color.  Kindness always stands out to me, and I appreciate it, as well as reliability and people who are friends in any weather (so to speak) in this sometimes roller coaster of life that we all go through. 

8. Lack of grace.

9. Cussing.  Maybe I don’t HATE it, but I am definitely not a fan.  My Mom used Coast soap in order to wash my mouth out when I went through a cussing spell around the age of 15.  That horrible taste just does not leave your mouth.  I still remember that punishment, and it helped me with my foul mouth. (Please note that I am NOT recommending that any parents do that…..not by any means).

Also, in terms of cussing, in PARTICULAR, I hate the “B” word being used toward women and girls.  Many people seem to accept that word as being ethically and morally acceptable (or perhaps people accept that word as being justified,  utilizing “the ends justify the means” type of argument).  Also, I understand that some women use that term for empowerment, as other terms have been used by victimized and oppressed groups in order to reclaim the language.  I am not trying to be the language police, BUT I will say that I previously worked for a year as a legal advocate for abused women.  Every single women was called that word by her abuser…every single one….and, of course, we as women get socialized to think that we “deserve” to be called that, somehow.  (Author’s note: Please note that I am not saying that everyone who ever utters the “B” word is abusive or an abuser.  But, that word can be very unkind and derogatory, and that is something to think about).  Language (written or spoken) is powerful and can be really edifying and encouraging, or it can rip another down and be incredibly harmful.  I am no saint, but I try to use encouraging language, and I also try to apologize when I have been wrong.

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