I am an occasional poet. When I get inspired, poems in my journal typically seem to fall in the category of being about love, faith, or God. I am a firm believer that love exists in many forms: a mother to a child, a friend to a friend, selfless love leading to action in order to help humanity….as well as of course romantic love. Many of the famous songs of old are about the passion and perils of romantic love….finding love, heartbreak, the ache of unrequited love….life and literature is ripe with tales and woes of romantic love. Love may at times seem elusive….and barriers to love exist, as we all know.
Personally, I’m an introspective person, and my educational background in the counseling field and Sociology has led me to examine myself, as well as family of origin, in order to know myself more (not that there is an end to this process, however, since life is a series of growth and change, and people really should not stay static). I am a firm believer in socialization and the fact that people are shaped by their culture, society, and country of origin. Families are part of this process. For example, I believe that children of divorce, as adults, can have issues and ambivalence with romantic love…these issues can and do affect these individuals in dating and marriage. I see this truth when I examine myself and my own desire for, and yet skittishness toward, romantic love. It can be hard, at times, for me to be vulnerable in this area. It does not help that an ex-boyfriend of mine in college broke up with me on my birthday, with no birthday present and right before Valentine’s Day, to boot. To be fair, I guess technically it was the day after my birthday, because the break-up talk started on my birthday but carried over till a bit after midnight…but still, I kind of think that there should be some unwritten rule (or social norm, perhaps?) in dating where a boyfriend should not break up with a girlfriend on her birthday (and vice versa). It is just plain wrong, honestly. Also, another facet of romantic love is marital love. I find it sad to think of marital love not lasting a lifetime…all too often people say “till death do us part”, and yet when trouble comes, such as financial difficulties or other hardships, then those same people give up on their marriage, maybe lamenting “it just wasn’t meant to be.” I think this mentality is incredibly tragic.
Rejection is a part of the elusive search for romantic love. Who likes rejection? No one. It is painful and raw. However, often the process to achieving romantic love will involve rejection, either in dating rejection or in pain from past relationships and break-ups. Rejection can transcend romantic love, however….there is also the pain of childhood rejection (i.e. being picked last for the athletic team in high school physical education class….for me that happened when one of my friends was picking teams and I was last picked…that was painful and did not help my self confidence in my athletic abilities). Rejection is a fact of life, whether it be in the career field or more relational in nature. Vulnerabilty is needed in order to find romantic love, but all too often walls are put up to safeguard one’s heart, and to not be hurt any more than one has already been hurt. These walls are problematic, however, and need to be dismantled in order to find a successful outcome in a dating or marital relationship.
Alright, I want to end with a short poem that I wrote about, what else? Love.
Vulnerability in the upmost.
Heart to heart. Hope to hope. Healing is the vibe.
So often in this world
strings are attached
and expectations abound
But the better way
will never cease to be
a pure foundation
and a fiber weaving throughout
in a brilliant tapestry
of rich hues
of reds and golds
and filled with warmth and clarity
and an unconditional love
that is healing, hopeful, and vulnerable
and that truly is forevermore.